Are you the parent who needs to understand if your child is affected by the way you raise them? Raising a child is an immaculate journey and you might wonder from time to time if you are doing the best for your child. Maybe fostering a positive child-parent connection is all about open communication or a supportive system. Understand yourself as a parent and also how your parenting style affects your child in their cognitive, biological and socio-emotional domains. At the same time, also have a reflection on yourself as a parent and ensure to give what’s best for your child.

    Parenting is the way of raising a child from infancy through adulthood. It becomes important for the parents to construct an ideal environment for the child to grow in to ensure they develop into independent and responsible individuals. Some of the markers of a parent include guiding and supporting their child, fostering a healthy environment, providing love and care, allowing the child to develop their own identity and many more. When it comes to Parenting, another important aspect of it is the style the parents incorporate to give care to their child. The understanding of the different styles of Parenting was pioneered by Diana Baumrind, a psychologist in the 1960s, who identified three main styles of Parenting- Authoritarian, Authoritative and Permissive. Here we understand the aspects of the Authoritarian Parenting Style and its effect on the child. 

   The authoritarian Parenting Style is often described as dictatorial and overbearing. The characteristics of authoritarian parenting include high demandingness from the child and low responsiveness towards the child. This, in simple terms, means that the parents’ demands on their children are higher than the response they give them. Features of this parenting style also include:

• strict rules made for their children to be obligated to follow
• detrimental punishments if these rules are violated
• expectation from their children to follow everything they say without any questions being asked
• punishments often used to ensure obedience from the child
• affection is rarely given to the child 

The verbatim most commonly used in authoritarian parenting are as follows:

        “Because I said so”

       “There will be bad consequences if you don’t do this”

       “You have to do as I say”

       “You’re not allowed to do this”

Tiger Parenting

When it comes to understanding about Authoritarian Parenting Style, Tiger Parenting also is an interesting form of parenting that falls under authoritarian parenting style. It is typified with the highest degree of authority attained by the parents of their children with respect to academic discipline, success and achievements. Tiger parents set high expectations on their children and push them to excel in academics and extracurricular activities. This form of parenting is predominantly found in Southeast Asian countries like Japan, South Korea, China, India and many more. However, it is also important to note that parenting styles may vary within cultures and families. 

Effects of authoritarian parenting on the Child

   While we understand that the characteristics of authoritarian parenting style are strict, controlling, demanding and unexplaining, we also need to infer the effect of these characteristics on the children

   Self Esteem

Considering the controlling nature of authoritarians, children raised by them may turn out to be low in their self-esteem. They may possibly feel like their worth is only distinguished by their ability to follow rules their parents set. Following this, they lose their ability to make their own decisions and may make poor judgement for themselves. Furthermore, the unexplaining nature can also chip away their need to be independent and lead to low self-esteem as well.

   Rebellion or Dependence

The lack of open communication and controlling behaviour may lead the children to rebel against their parents, teachers, or even society. The reasoning behind the same would be the children taking control of their life which they did not receive before. On the other hand, being controlled by their parents, the children lose their ability to make their own decisions even as adults and depend on their parents entirely even for a small decision of their lives. The inference made behind the same would be the lack of courage to change and being used to the routine of being controlled by their parents.

   Anxiety and Depression

The prevalence of anxiety and depression due to strict parents and controlling nature they devise is high in clinical settings especially with respect to the teenage population. The constant fear to conform and fear of punishment can lead to significant amounts of distress and can possibly manifest as anxiety and depression. Elements of depression like lethargy, stress, lack of motivation and many more may be a result of always being told to behave a certain way. Hence, it is important to reflect and understand the consequences of actions parents may make on their children. 

Here is an example of a representation of authoritarian parenting style:

Sarah is excited to tell her parents about the school trip planned for the year. She has rehearsed the way she’s going to tell them about it. Shr rehearses 10-15 times, the same thing “Muma, Papa can I please go on this school trip? My friends are asking me to come this time and it will be a lot of fun. It’s only a day trip to the falls, so I will be back home early and take care of the household chores”. She rehearses many times, over and over again from school to back home. She thinks to herself, “This time, I have a feeling they might allow”. 

         Sarah reaches home and sees that her mother has a frown on her face. She thinks it’s not the right time to ask her about the trip. She waits for the night.  At the dinner table, Sarah expressed to her parents that she wanted to go on the trip. But, her mother started off with a “I won’t allow you to go because you have your chores to do every single day”, Sarah retaliated saying she promises to complete her chores once she comes back home in the evening. Her parents begin to say, “You’re not allowed to go”, Sarah is extremely sad, she begins crying and asks “Why”, they say together “Because I said so!”

   This becomes an important example to consider the wariness Sarah always feels around her parents and the controlling nature they exude. Modifying the behaviour becomes important at this stage to foster healthy development in the child.

Modifications you can make 

Reflect

The most growth you can make as parents is to reflect on the kind of methods you use to parent your child. Sometimes, due to uncertainties and several factors, you may lose track of the consequences of the words you instil on your child. As human beings, we are all bound to be exposed to these unpleasant situations. However, reflecting on your actions and rectifying them accordingly may give a positive approach to parenting your children and make them understand that you have faults as well. Resorting to extremities and infusing force onto children may not be the best way to address any discrepancies. Therefore, reflecting on your actions may be the hugest first step towards bettering the relationship with your child.

Revise

Revise the kind or words or actions you use on your children. Revising refers to looking over something again carefully in order to make corrections, improvements or changes. As parents, revision of the action performed on your children may be impactful in several ways. One would be the insight into your own thoughts and feelings before performing an action that could have detrimental consequences or even understanding your own intention behind the decision to take the particular action or words. This helps you to introspect into your own self and understand several reasons behind the way you behave and modify accordingly. 

Reduce

It has been noted that discipline should be encouraged for children but discipline shouldn’t be enforced. It is good to have rules and regulations but detrimental consequences of violation of the rules cause a decline in the relationship between you and your children. While considering your own way of discipline, you also need to understand your child’s way of learning. They might need an approach that works best for them rather than what you think works better. Reducing the extremities you can enforce upon them and understanding their needs and working through them accordingly will help you to foster a greater bond with your child. 

    In conclusion, being subjected to Authoritarian parenting style can be quite taxing and may lead to learned helplessness. It is our duty as adults, to provide a safe environment for our kids. Strict rules, low responsiveness, and harsh punishments can lead to low self-esteem, rebellion, and anxiety in children.Reflecting on your parenting style, revising your approach, and reducing reliance on harsh discipline can help create a more positive and supportive environment for your child’s development.

World Brain Tumour Day is observed every year in June. It is a day dedicated to raising awareness about brain tumours and the challenges those diagnosed with this condition face. While much focus is rightly placed on the physical aspects of brain tumours – such as diagnosis, treatment options and research advancements; the often-overlooked intersection of brain tumours and mental health demands our compassion and understanding.

The Silent Struggle: Mental Health Impact of Brain Tumors

A diagnosis of a brain tumour is life-altering. Beyond the immediate concerns about survival and treatment, patients often grapple with significant mental health issues. Anxiety, depression, cognitive changes and emotional distress are common among those diagnosed. Being the epicentre of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours, the brain can significantly alter a person’s mental state when affected by a tumour.

Anxiety and Depression: The fear and uncertainty associated with a brain tumour diagnosis can lead to high levels of stress. Patients may worry about their future, treatment outcomes, and the impact on their families. Depression can stem from the diagnosis itself and the side effects of treatment. It can also impact brain function, depending on the location.

Cognitive Changes:  They can affect mental function and abilities like memory, concentration and decision-making skills. These changes can be particularly distressing, leading to frustration and helplessness. Patients may struggle with once simple tasks, affecting their sense of independence and quality of life.

Emotional Distress: The emotional rollercoaster experienced by brain tumour patients is very intense. From the initial shock of diagnosis to the stress of treatment and the ongoing fear of recurrence, emotions can be overwhelming. It’s not uncommon for patients to experience mood swings, irritability and a pervasive sense of sadness.

Supporting Mental Health for Brain Tumor Patients

Addressing the mental health of brain tumour patients requires an eclectic approach involving medical professionals, caregivers and support networks.

Integrated Care Teams: Involving a neurologist, oncologist, psychologists and social workers can provide comprehensive support. Regular mental health assessments should be part of treatment plans.

Counselling and Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and support groups can help cope with anxiety, depression and emotional distress. Therapy offers a safe space for patients and caregivers to express their fears and receive guidance individually.

Medication Management: Medication might be needed for extreme anxiety or depression. Psychiatrists can make a regimen considering the patient’s health and treatment plan.

Support Networks: Family, friends and support groups offer emotional comfort and practical assistance; support groups provide a community of individuals who understand the unique challenges of the patient

Raising Awareness

World Brain Tumour Day highlights the importance of raising awareness about the mental health challenges of brain tumour patients. Public awareness campaigns can reduce stigma and promote understanding. Educating the public encourages empathy and support.

Increased research funding into the psychological aspects can lead to better interventions. Advocating for comprehensive care models that include mental health services is essential for improving patients’ quality of life.

On World Brain Tumour Day, let us reaffirm our commitment to prioritizing mental health alongside physical health for individuals battling brain tumours. Through awareness, integrated care, and unwavering support, we can foster environments where patients receive the compassionate care they deserve.

They always say that animals are our best friends. But it’s important to understand that unlike us humans they don’t speak the same language. So, it can get tricky to understand what exactly they want and how to not get them mad at us. After all, if they are your friends you would want them to be happy with you right? You wouldn’t want them to be angry with you or sad with you. So let’s learn a little bit more about how we can truly make them more comfortable.

Animals & Humans: Same Same But Different

Before we try to understand how to communicate with animals better, it’s important to understand the fact that just like us, animals are also creatures that deserve to be treated with respect. Just like you and your friends are not exactly the same but do differ in certain ways, depending on what you like and dislike and what you look like, animals differ from you in that very same way. It’s important to understand that even though they are different in terms of what they like look or eat, they still deserve the same amount of respect and love that you show your friend or sibling. But what you need to keep in mind is how to approach them as their differences from us make it important that we take an extra step to understand them and make the interaction better for both of us.

Normally when it comes to our friends we tend to talk or draw to communicate with them and let them know what we are feeling. But when it comes to animals, it’s important to understand that they did not grow up watching the same cartoons we did or hearing the same phrases. These cartoons and phrases that we hear others speak regularly help form our point of reference, which basically means a thing or idea that we go back to when we can’t understand something in hopes that the idea that we already have in our mind will help us understand the new thing better. For example, take the case of potato chips. We find a variety of them in the market today. When you pick up a new packet of potato chips from an unknown brand you still have an idea about how it will taste like. This is because you are familiar with the way potato chips taste. But in your place, if an alpaca picks up a potato chip packet be it from an unknown or known brand they won’t know what it tastes like because they have never had potato chips before. This is where the point of reference comes into play. Sure, there are some things that both you and your animal friends know about and share that point of reference such as trees, flowers, etc. But there are still many things that they don’t know about you and your life, so you need to be patient when you are communicating.

Animal & Humans: How To Communicate?

Now here are a few things you need to remember when you are trying to communicate with animals:

• Be respectful and gentle:

How would you like it if your friend or anyone just came and tapped you on your head? Or what if they just pulled your hair while you were doing your homework? It doesn’t feel good, does it? Well, the same goes for your animal friend. No matter how furry, squishy and cute they may look it’s important to understand that they may not always be happy about you pulling their hair or squishing them. Sure, you may not mean any harm but just like you don’t like to be unnecessarily bothered sometimes they don’t like it too. And being mean or teasing them or hitting them is a big no-no. Why? Ask yourself, if you were there in their place would you like it if the same was done to you? If not, then how can somebody else like it? 

• Understand how to approach them:

Not everyone would like to be touched or petted when you approach them. Hence it’s important to be careful when you approach your animal friend. Just like some of your friends prefer hugs but some don’t, similarly, some animal friends may be okay with you greeting them with a hug and some not so much. It all depends on how one like to communicate. Hence, to be safe let them approach you and be calm rather than being too excited. Let them take their time to get to know you.

• Give them some space:

It’s important to understand that just like some days are good and bad for you, the same goes for them. So, be careful when you approach them especially if they are eating or are scared. This is because just like you don’t like to be bothered when you are eating they also don’t like the same. Plus, just like when you are scared sometimes you scream or shout without meaning to hurt anyone, your animal friend might do the same but you may interpret their shouting as them being mad at you, so it’s best to give them some space to get comfortable and feel better.

• Not every animal is the same:

Just because you have been familiar with dogs or cats because you have one at home, does not mean all dogs and cats are similar. It’s important to understand that each animal even though they may be from the same breed differ from each other. Just like one of your friends may love to chat and talk and another doesn’t, similarly, your dog may be very nice and friendly but your neighbour’s may not be so. So, you must give them the space they need to be themselves and approach them accordingly. If they have an owner or someone who visits them frequently listen to their advice as to how to approach that particular animal friend as they have spent more time with that friend than you.

This is a tiny guide that is meant to start your communication with your animal friends in a way that is more fun for both you and your animal friend. The main thing to remember is that it will take time and hence being patient and calm is the key. We know it’s not always possible to be calm and patient and that’s when you go back to your room and relax for a bit. And when you are calm, approach your animal friend once again. 

This throwback Thursday celebrates the genius of Rahul Dev Burman, affectionately known as Pancham Da. R.D. Burman left an indelible mark on the Indian music industry. 

He was born on 27th June 1939 in Calcutta ( now Kolkata). R.D. Burman grew up in a musical family with his father, Sachin Dev Burman, a renowned composer. R.D Burman inherited and amplified this music legacy, revolutionising the Indian Cinema music industry from the 1960’s through the early 1990’s

R.D. Burman’s career spanned over three decades, during which he composed music for 331 films. He worked with legendary singers such as Lata Mangeshkar, Asha Bhosle ( who became his second wife) and Kishore Kumar. His collaboration with lyricist Gulzar produced some of the most memorable songs in Indian cinema, showing his versatility and innovation. 

R.D. Burman was known for his eclectic style, blending various musical genres. He was deeply influenced by Bengali folk music. Nevertheless, Neverthelessis compositions also incorporated elements of Western, Latin, Oriental and Arabic music. The fusion created a unique and fresh sound that set him apart from his contemporaries. He introduced electronic rock to Bollywood, especially in youth-centric love stories, starting with actors like Rajesh Khanna. 

One of his defining traits was his ability to experiment with unconventional sounds. He famously used beer bottles to create the opening beats of “Mehbooba” from Sholay (1975) and the sounds of cups and saucers for the clinking sound in “Chura Liya Hai” from the movie “Yaadon Ki Baaraat”(1973). His innovative techniques brought a new dimension to film music, making his compositions timeless.

Despite his success, R.D. Burman faced allegations of plagiarism. Filmmakers often pressured him to adopt famous foreigners tuned into his music. Nevertheless, his original contribution and adaptation became iconic, and songs like “Jahan Teri Yeh Nazar Hai” are a constant classic.

R.D. Burman’s influence extended beyond his active years. Many films of the early 22000spaid tribute to his work, which featured re-arranged versions of his hit songs. His music continues to inspire new generations of composers and singers with remix albums and tributes, keeping his legacy alive.

R.D.Burman’s marriage to Asha Bhosle was personal and professional, resulting in numerous hits. His music also had a lasting impact on the industry, inspiring composers like Vishal-Shekhar and Jatin-Lalit. Notable musicians include Hari Parasad Chaurasia and Shiv Kumar Sharma, adding to the richness of his compositions.

After his passing in 1994 on January 4, R.D. Burman’s influence didn’t wane. The Filmfare RD Burman Award for New Music Talent was instituted in his memory, encouraging fresh talent in the industry. In 2009, a public square in Mumbai was named after him, further cementing his status as a music legend. 

R.D. Burman’s innovative spirit and unmatched creativity have left a lasting legacy in the world of music in the Indian Cinema. His ability to blend diverse musical elements into cohesive and captivating compositions continues to inspire and entertain music lovers worldwide. On the Throwback Thursday, we honour R.D. Burman, the maestro whose music remains eternally enchanting. 

Do you ever wonder about your child’s emotions? How do they develop these emotions? What leads them to show their emotions the way they do? Why do they cry before they speak? And many more. Emotions are the essence of being a human. Emotions are primarily happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, etc. 

Children develop their emotions gradually through social situations and their own individualistic way. The first form of communication by children is through crying. Along with the way they communicate, it is also one of the first ways of expressing emotions. As children grow, their emotional expression becomes more nuanced, incorporating facial expressions, body language, and eventually, verbal communication. Observing and interacting with caregivers and peers play a crucial role in this development, as children learn to interpret and mimic the emotional cues they see. This process helps them to understand and manage their own emotions, as well as to empathize with others, leading to their overall social and emotional growth.

Stages of emotional development

Social smile

Social smile is a significant stage in emotional development which occurs between 6 to 8 weeks of an infant. It represents communication, emotional interactions of the child with the parent and their bond. Further, you might have also observed your child react in a similar way when you talk to them in a high tone and interact with them through laughter and affection. A normal variation also occurs with respect to social smile and may happen at an earlier or later stage.

Attachment

From 6 to 12 months of the child’s development, they slowly develop an attachment to their primary caregiver, wherein most cases it’s the mother. For example, your child might cry and feel distressed in your absence and stop crying on your return. This is a major milestone in the emotional development of children. This paves the way for their style of attachment to be developed as well which forms a baseline for their relationships with people.

Social referencing

It develops alongside attachment at around 8 to 12 months of age. Social referencing involves the child’s actions to navigate with unfamiliar and unexpected situations with emotional support from the caregiver or a trusted person. For example, your child on receiving a new unfamiliar toy, looks at you for a nod or a smile of approval to use it. This shows they have developed a trusting relationship with you and is using social referencing as an emotional response. 

Theory of mind

Theory of mind is a concept that states that children develop the ability to understand the perspectives of others’. In short, children progress to “putting themselves in other shoes”. For example, you are playing with your child and you get a phone call in between, but once you come back, you realise that the toy you are playing with disappeared. And you ask your child “Where is the toy?”, the child replies to you saying, “You think the toy is on the bed (where it originally was), but I have kept it behind the tv”. This shows that the child understands your perspective that you still think the toy is on the bed, which is a clear indication of development of theory of mind. 

Emotion regulation

Emotion regulation are strategies and techniques used to modify and understand your emotions in accordance with the environment. It is a continuous stage of development for the child and stays through adulthood. It is crucial for the parents to be the mode through which the children learn emotional regulation. 

Tips to enhance your child’s emotional development

Expression of emotions

Encourage expression of emotions to your child so they understand that it’s a healthy way to communicate what they’re feeling and express it in a healthy way. Sudden outbursts of emotions at extremes are unhelpful and often lead up to emotional dysregulation. At the same time, make sure your child does not hold in their emotions and mask it. At a young age, this might become a repetitive behaviour leading up to lack of understanding of their own emotions. For example, if your child falls down and gets us, don’t say statements like “It’s just a small hurt, don’t cry” or “Cry, Cry fast”. An ideal statement to say in this situation is “Oh no, you got hurt, it’s okay to cry about it, I hope you understand that” would make them feel more secure and interpret that they can cry but at the same time they don’t have to. And more than anything, that they have you on their side, always!

Modeling 

Parents are always the first teachers of their children. You might also observe your children imitate you from time to time and also act like you often. Hence, it is always important for the parents to be mindful of their actions in front of their children. When talking about modeling emotions, the most vital thing is emotional regulation. While demonstrating regulation of emotions by the parents, the children are enabled to develop the healthiest form of control of their emotions appropriate to a particular situation. Emotional regulation can be demonstrated by the parents in several aspects. For example, in instances of stress, frustration and joy, your expressions of the same would be you modeling emotional regulation to your child. You might be stressed at work and you come back home sad, frustrated and tired and don’t play with your child and displace your emotions at them. The next day you may witness your child behaving the same way towards their dolls and you might feel ashamed for the way you behaved. This is a small instance where children model parents’ behaviour and gives an insight into their want to resemble their caregivers.

Teach Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It involves recognising someone else’s emotional state, putting oneself in their shoes and responding with care and compassion. Teaching empathy to your child is one of the most universal and valuable forms of emotional development you can provide. For example, helping the poor is one of the values you can teach your child and one day they would voluntarily want to help any homeless person they see on the streets. This shows that you have succeeded in teaching your children empathy. And this is one of the most vital forms of emotional development you can teach them. 

Be a good support system

You are your child’s immense support system. Your child learns, stays, grows and with you beside them. Therefore, acknowledging this fact that you’re the best support system they can get is crucial. They might confide in you with their concerns, they might even share and express their feelings effectively, and also require a safe support system from you as well. For example, your child went to school and sees that his/her classmates have done a better job at their homework than him/herself. They come home distressed and pour out their heart to you about how they feel. Now, as a good support system, you will have to actively listen to their concern; Empathise accordingly; Say soothing statements like “I understand it’s so frustrating”, “Your feelings are valid”, “It’s okay to feel upset”, “I’m here for you” and many more. This helps your child understand that you are there for them and that you empathize with how they might be feeling.

  Understanding and nurturing your child’s emotional development is a rewarding journey that massively shapes their future. By recognizing and grasping the stages of emotional development, you lay a strong baseline for their emotional intelligence. Encouraging expression, modeling appropriate emotional responses, and being a reliable support system are pivotal strategies. These actions not only help your child navigate their own emotions but they also help foster healthy relationships. As parents, your proactive involvement and empathy teach invaluable lessons, ensuring your child grows into a well-rounded, emotionally intelligent individual.